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Magilla Crunch Profile
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Registered: 05-2005
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Strained Relationships


Hey ya'll...I'm new to the site, but I figured I'm among family, so why not give you a prayer request?

Both of my parents are extremely Conservative in their appearance; they really struggle with my desire to get tats and piercings and to grow my hair long.

The thing is, I have it from God that I need to do these things once I move out. I'm not going to rock the boat while I'm still in it, so I'm waiting until I leave my house (I'm 20, looking to move out by age 22).

I have been called to be a Minister to "counter-culture" (for lack of a better term) youth; Goths, punks, ravers, drug addicts, gang members, teen parents, etc. Tats and piercings and whatnot will aide in my pursuit of serving God. Each tat and piercing has been prayed over, and I'm certain I want these.

The problem is that it will cause a strain with my parents, and I don't want that. I love them, they love me, but we just don't seem to get along. Please pray for me.
May/18/2005, 1:24 am Link to this post Send Email to Magilla Crunch   Send PM to Magilla Crunch
 
jeepind Profile
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Re: Strained Relationships


you got it!!
May/18/2005, 7:40 pm Link to this post Send PM to jeepind
 
jewelsforthorns Profile
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Re: Strained Relationships


hey, i have the same feelings about my parents.... read psalm 27:10 a good friend of mine just brought it to my attention. hope it helps.


kelly
May/30/2005, 2:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to jewelsforthorns   Send PM to jewelsforthorns
 
tattedsaint Profile
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Re: Strained Relationships


quote:

Magilla Crunch wrote:

Hey ya'll...I'm new to the site, but I figured I'm among family, so why not give you a prayer request?

Both of my parents are extremely Conservative in their appearance; they really struggle with my desire to get tats and piercings and to grow my hair long.

The thing is, I have it from God that I need to do these things once I move out. I'm not going to rock the boat while I'm still in it, so I'm waiting until I leave my house (I'm 20, looking to move out by age 22).

I have been called to be a Minister to "counter-culture" (for lack of a better term) youth; Goths, punks, ravers, drug addicts, gang members, teen parents, etc. Tats and piercings and whatnot will aide in my pursuit of serving God. Each tat and piercing has been prayed over, and I'm certain I want these.

The problem is that it will cause a strain with my parents, and I don't want that. I love them, they love me, but we just don't seem to get along. Please pray for me.



along the lines of how you are concerned about the parent issue, i know how you feel. i'm 23, and for a time it was an issue for my dad and i.

thing is, i showed him that this wasn't out of rebellion. he believed me, ironically enough. he has accepted it now. my mom was cool about it. she wants me to be me. she has her own views about that stuff, and that's fine, but she doesn't push it on me.

my dad is conservative too. it was a hard thing for him to grasp on. we've had a torn relationship since 1990.

i respect my dad's view by not throwing it into his face. i always thought, he had to agree with me to have a relationship. i was wrong, and glad i learned my lesson. we haven't seen each other in over a year now, or even spoke on the phone for that long, only through email.

the fine line i found was, to not force it down my dad's throat anymore. to accept the fact that he's not going to agree with it. accept that him and i will always differ on this. that disagreeance is so futile in the terms of the relationship. we worked that out a long time. he even told me he has has accepted it. there are things about him that i cannot stand and i find those things in myself. i cannot be swayed to think any differently about those things either. he's stubborn, i'm stubborn. but i do believe we coming to a point that we respect each other. now i'm showing him i'm trying my best to be a better man. i have made mistakes along the way. and he's seeing me do my best, and he is seeing me mature. maybe only through emails, but i'm an overly honest person now, even to the point of being too blunt for my own good. so he sees the changes. and if that is all i can have, the mutual respect, the mutual agreement to agree to disagree and have a relationship, then that's all i need to have.

so my advice, is just to show them that your desires are not out of rebellion. don't argue about it either. even if they try to force it on you, we are all weak and we will let the anger get to the best of us. it's just a fault of our makeup. so be it. just ask them, if it comes up in conversation, to maybe not bring it up. you prove to them that you can be a good person and have those things. you prove to them that you are not some rebel punk kid, out to cause a scene. depending on their depth of views, it will just take time, at least in my opinion, till the difference amongst you and your parents are so futile in comparision to the love and the relationship between the family.

i love my dad. for awhile i couldn't feel any love for him. but over this past year, i have realized, deep inside all the times of hurt and pain, and anger, i love him, and when i focused on that, i realized there are things that i love about him as well cannot stand. and now that time has gone on, this issue is pointless. i have no need to bring it up to him. i respect him enough to not bring something up that he doesn't agree with. i dont' cover up my tattoos, he doesn't require me too. he doesn't require me either to take out my ear rings. i have really short hair, and finally my beard is actually trimmed up and nice looking, haha.

so learning from my mistakes, i just advise to not push the issue. no matter of your convictions. tattoos has nothing to do with salvation. and in my opinion, we shouldn't even shove the Gospel down people's throats, so what would make tattoos better? and be careful with how much you want them to know your convictions about this. because it's easy for that pure desire to go into selfishness. selfishness meaning to satisfy your own needs by getting them to understand something about you that is as small as tattooing. do everything in love. prove them who you are with this stuff. maybe you shouldn't have to, who knows, i dont' knwo your parents. but still prove to them who you are in this, with actions, over words. and always, always be willing to agree to disagree for the sake of respect and honoring your parents. i hope this helps. God Bless you! <><



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The Bible is not the Word of God...Jesus is the Word of God.
Jul/15/2005, 7:57 am Link to this post Send Email to tattedsaint   Send PM to tattedsaint
 
dbzmaxx Profile
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Re: Strained Relationships


quote:

jewelsforthorns wrote:

hey, i have the same feelings about my parents.... read psalm 27:10 a good friend of mine just brought it to my attention. hope it helps.


kelly



Kelly, I don't think this is an example of his parents foresaking him. I believe that in the spirit of not dishonoring our parents, there wishes should be taken with great weight.
Just because your parents don't agree with your choice of expression, doesn't mean that they are forsaking you. Foresaking you would be like, leaving you out on the street, or disowning you completely. But also, if they wish something of us (within reason) and we don't comply, who is dishonoring who, and to what degree? The best deal is to talk with them and convince them. I have to agree with tattedsaint on this one.
Jul/18/2005, 2:05 pm Link to this post Send Email to dbzmaxx   Send PM to dbzmaxx
 
giantsfan24 Profile
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Re: Strained Relationships


Remind them that God uses ALL of his children for his work, not just those who look like a politician. Think about it, is some 14 yeard, earinged punk rocked going to liesten to you more or Billy graham(no offense to Billy). Prolly you cuz he can identify with you. Common denominators.
Roman 12:12-31 Each body part is different but all valuble.
God Bless
Matt

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A truly wise man is always humbled. xxxchurch.org
Jul/20/2005, 3:08 pm Link to this post Send Email to giantsfan24   Send PM to giantsfan24 AIM MSN
 


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